And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
