I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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