I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Randomize
