Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
