It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
