Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
