this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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