somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
