I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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