Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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