I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
