What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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