She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
