Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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