i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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