I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
