WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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