apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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