the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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