I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
