there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
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