It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
