I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I deserve this hangover.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize