Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
