Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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