At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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