The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
