One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
