I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
