Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
