Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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