I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
