I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
