Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
