Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
