it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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