u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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