i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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