Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
