I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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