trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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