If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
