Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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