Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
