where does the pee come out of this thing
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
