There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
