I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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