Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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