my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
