Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
