is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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