he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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