I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
