Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
