I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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