You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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