woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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