It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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