When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
