I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
