Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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