Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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