Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
