I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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