Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
