Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
