so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize