He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize