Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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